Somebody back east is saying, "Why don't he write?"

Undead for Torch&Sixgun



The Prairie Companion.

Frequency: Very Rare
No. Appearing: 1
Armor Class: 4
Move: 10"(100 feet)
Hit Dice: 3
% in lair: Encountered only near lair, and only after nightfall.
Treasure Type: Special, see below
No. of Attacks: 3
Damage/Attack: 2-8/2-8/1-6
Special Attacks: Importunate Mutter, Life Energy Drain.
Special Defenses: Unharmed by mortal weaponry.
Magic Resistance: Standard
Intelligence: Average
Alignment: Neutral Evil
Size: M
Psionic Ability: Nil

Them what die alone on the prairie, don’t always rest easy in their grave-less sleep.

Those who end their days in solitary desperation sometimes rise and seek succor in the company of the living. A Prairie Companion is such an unliving creature. Existing forever in the state of lonesome fear which filled its final moments, it is drawn to the sounds of living camaraderie.

Should a party of the living encamp within gunshot of the place a Prairie Companion met its friendless end, there is a 25% chance, (cumulative per night), that it will rise and seek company to ease its endless loneliness.

It is never the generous or the good-hearted who become deathless creatures such as the Prairie Companions, however. Rather, in life they were of the sort who blamed others for their misfortune, and bitterly resented those who possessed contentment or good fortune.

As it approaches the campsite which attracted it, the Prairie Companion will begin its Importunate Mutter. It retells the story of its demise, it pleads for help, and it explains how it was not to blame for its unfortunate circumstances. All in a soft, begging spectral voice.

All who hear the Importunate Mutter must Save vs Charm. Those who fail the Save will fall into a state of deep and debilitating despair. They will be unable to summon the will to do anything other than sit and stare into the camp fire, (if there is one), and wallow in self pity and hopelessness.

If the Prairie Companion is not destroyed or driven off, it will circle the camp, muttering, until dawn, when it will return to its unresting place.
No healing of hit points through normal rest will occur while the Prairie Companion continues its muttering. No magical spell may be memorized, or granted by higher, (or lower), Powers, while the companion circles the camp.

No character or NPC who failed his save and fell under the spell of the Importunate Mutter, will have any memory of the past nights events when the sun rises again.

Each night the party remains in occupation of the encampment, the Prairie Companion will return at sundown. Each night its muttering will become louder, and angrier. It will begin to lay the blame for its terrible fate at the feet of the party. Each night it will approach more closely to the fire in its path about the camp.

As on the first night, all present must Save vs Charm or fall into despair. Those who failed the first night suffer a -1 penalty to Save, cumulative each time the Prairie Companion returns.

The Companion will return for a number of nights equal to the number of persons present in the camp.

On the final night, ranting incomprehensibly in rage at the unfairness of its death, the Prairie Companion will enter the camp and lay hands upon a random character or NPC. If the victim is not under the spell of the Importunate Mutter, the undead must roll to hit as in normal melee. If the victim is in the throes of the despairing charm, he will take no actions to defend himself.

In either case, the victim must Save vs Death Magic, or else have his life energy drained to the dregs by the terror wight. Those who do save will still take 2D8 in damage, and forever after suffer a fear of being alone. This life draining attack is not a power the Prairie Companion may draw on at any time. Rather, it must work up to it by way of the nightly visits and muttering.

After taking a life, the companion will vanish and return no more. Until the next time a party camps within gunshot of its earthly remains.

A Prairie Companion is not harmed by mortal weaponry. Only magic, silver, or holy iron may do it damage directly. A circle of Protection will prevent it from coming into a camp, and if established prior to the companion’s first visit, also lessen the effects of the Importunate Mutter.




As for myself, I haven't written here at the Old Guard Blog for a while because I just haven't had the time or the proper muse. Too many other things have drawn my attention and energy in the last couple of months.

I saw part of Dances with Wolves recently though. That bit with Timmons the wagon driver, when they happen upon the bleaching bones of some unfortunate out there, alone on the prairie, was always my favorite bit in that movie. I thought I'd work it into Torch&Sixgun, my AD&D/Weird West homebrew.

Why don't he write? Heh,heh,heh...

Cimmeria

I remember

The dark woods, masking slopes of sombre hills,
The grey clouds' leaden everlasting arch;
The dusky streams that flowed without a sound,
And the lone winds that whispered down the passes.

Vista on vista marching, hills on hills,
Slope beyond slope, each dark with sullen trees,
Our gaunt land lay. So when a man climbed up
A rugged peak and gazed, his shaded eye
Saw but the endless vista - hill on hill,
Slope beyond slope, each hooded like its brothers.

It was a gloomy land that seemed to hold
All winds and clouds and dreams that shun the sun,
With bare boughs rattling in the lonesome winds,
And the dark woodlands brooding over all,
Not even lightened by the rare dim sun
Which made squat shadows out of men; they called it
Cimmeria, land of Darkness and deep Night.

It was so long ago and far away
I have forgot the very name men called me.
The axe and flint-tipped spear are like dreams,
And hunts and wars are shadows. I recall
Only the stillness of that sombre land;
The clouds that piled forever on the hills,
The dimness of the everlasting woods.
Cimmeria, land of Darkness and the Night.

Oh, soul of mine, born out of shadowed hills,
To clouds and winds and ghosts that shun the sun,
How many deaths shall serve to break at last
This heritage which wraps me in the grey
Apparel of ghosts? I search my heart and find
Cimmeria, land of Darkness and the Night.


Cimmeria, by R.E.Howard, 1932.

Posted without permission, because I really like this poem, and Howard's works in general. And he's dead, and I don't make any profit from this blog, and I want you to see it, and I think its fair use, and IP laws are strangling culture and literature to death and making us all poorer for it. And I have a sense of ennui concerning the new Conan movie. And I haven't made up any new monsters for you lately.

Beware the Killer Blink Frogs!

“I swear! It was sitting on that rock, big as a wolf! It jumped and just vanished, I don’t know where it….ARRRGGHHHH!”

Killer Blink Frog

Frequency: Vanishingly Rare
No. Appearing: 2-12, (2D6)
Armor Class: 7
Move: 6”, (walking), 220”, (blink-leap)
Hit Dice: 3
% in Lair: 80%
Treasure Type: Incidental
No. of Attacks: 3
Damage/Attack: 1-2/1-2/1-6, (claw, claw, bite)
Special Attacks: surprise 3/6, first attack from rear 50% of the time.
Special Defenses: instinctively blink if hit in melee.
Magic Resistance: Standard
Intelligence: Low
Alignment: Neutral Hungry
Size: S, (3’-5’ body length)
Psionic Ability: Nil

Ferocious Giant Frogs armed with cat-like slashing claws, rows of saurian teeth, and covered in a coat of damp, blackish green hair-like bristles, Killer Blink Frogs display characteristics of both Killer Frogs and Blink Dogs.

How these monstrous aberrations came to be, no one knows, and in fact, no one cares to think about it very much. Better to simply avoid the horrid things if at all possible. Or try to kill them when it is not.

Killer Blink Frogs may be encountered in areas of marsh, swamp, wetland, lagoons, and bayous, along river bends, lakes or any other area of high humidity or perpetual moisture. There have been accounts of cave dwelling Killer Blink Frogs of phosphorescent whiteness seen about underground lakes and streams.

The frogs are voracious predators and attack without warning. Anything which moves is a likely target for their hunger.

If the frog pack is well fed and not hungry, they will sit about their water source/lair and bark to each other to reinforce their standing in the group. There is only a 10% chance of the frogs feeling satiated if encountered randomly.

At any other time the frogs will sit silently waiting for a likely meal to venture within striking distance. In the case of Killer Blink Frogs, this is a greater span than for ordinary giant frogs.

Once a Killer Blink Frog has sighted a possible meal, it attacks by leaping in the targets direction. As soon as the frog’s feet have left the ground, it Blinks, disappearing and then reappearing mid-leap, and only feet away from its victim.

The frog can attack from up to 220” feet away in a single round by this method. If it hits successfully, the victim must Save vs. Crushing Blow or be knocked to the ground by the impact, and also take double damage from the frog’s claw, claw, bite attack for that round.

If the frog misses its first attack, it has failed to judge the position of its intended victim and either fallen short in its blink-leap, or overshot its mark. There is a 50/50 chance of either way.

A killer blink frog will remain in contact with its victim and continue its attack unless wounded. The frog’s instinctive reaction to being hurt is to blink away in a random direction.

Roll D4 to determine direction of the blink, 1-in front of victim, 2-behind victim, 3- to the right of victim, 4- to the left of victim. Also roll D20 to determine the distance the frog travels in feet. 1=1’, 20=20’, etc.

If the frog is not severely wounded, or if it's very hungry, it will return to the attack on its next action.

During periods of heavy precipitation, or very dense fogs, a killer blink frog pack may go prowling across country, searching for prey. The frogs slowly proceed by leap-blinking one at a time until the whole pack is present in the new location, watching for likely victims for a time, and then repeating the process if nothing toothsome presents itself.

If randomly encountered, the frogs are most likely hunting in this manner and certain to attack.

Killer Blink Frogs are hierarchical in the manner of dogs and wolves, there will be an alpha male and female frog, but they do not hunt co-operatively. Instead, if the pack becomes aware of a meal at the same time, the alpha frog attacks first. Other frogs will attack other targets, but not the same targets. Only should a frog be killed or give up its attack will a lesser ranking frog attack that target.

Though they are silent when awaiting prey or actually hunting, Killer Blink Frogs will bark loudly and excitedly when attacking.


The Ruined Tepidarium. (insertable encounter)

Near to the heart of the broken ancient city, the PCs find the remains of the city’s public baths. The building sits on a foundation dais ten feet above street level. Only the tepidarium still holds water as its connection to the aqueducts’ remains in good condition.

The pool is 40’ wide and 120’ long. It is 2’ deep in one end, and 8’ deep in the other. At the deep end, most of the marble columns which supported the roof remain standing, but near to the shallow end, the columns collapsed in the Catastrophe and two have broken and fallen into the pool.

A pack of nine Killer Blink Frogs have made their lair in the tepidarium. Six of them sit at positions between the standing pillars at the deep end of the pool, while three, smaller, (only 1 hit die) frogs hide in the shallow end of the pool amongst the column fragments.

The large frogs, #1- 17 hp, #2-12hp, #3-12hp, #4*-13hp, #5-8hp, #6-14hps. The smaller frogs, #7-2hp, #8-3hp, #9-4hp.

• Frog # 4 recently devoured an unwary wererat which had come to the tepidarium for water. As a result, some inexplicable quirk of the laws of Spontaneous Generation has conferred upon the frog the ability to infect victims of its bite with a unique and especially disturbing form of lycanthropy.
Any PC bitten by frog #4 has a 50% chance, less his Constitution score, of contracting the transformative disease. The PC so infected will become a Blinking Killer Rat-Frog at the next dark of the moon(s).

The building may only be easily entered by climbing the stairs at the shallow end of the pool

Should PCs climb the stairs and enter the remains of the building, the frogs will immediately attack.

The largest frogs will leap-blink from the far end of the pool one at a time to attack each PC as they are noticed. Only one frog per PC will attack at any time. Only if a frog is killed or driven off will a lower ranking frog attack its former victim.

The small frogs in the pool are unlikely to attack unless attacked first, or unless a PC enters the pool, for any reason. This includes falling into the pool during melee.

At the bottom of the pool at the deep end is the remains of a wheel barrow which holds a cracked ceramic jug containing 1500 gps and a four dozen short rods of ivory worth around 450 gps, as well as the skeletal remains of the man who sought to wheel his savings to the docks during the Catastrophe, and who instead drowned in the tepidarium.

These things are hidden beneath a layer of water lilies which cover the surface of the pool.

There are also present, unfortunately, 1d4 Groin Leeches, (always attach themselves to the victim’s groin, as per the HackMaster Hacklopedia of Beasts IV), Groin Leech, AC: 8, HP: 1D4-1, Move: 3” on land, 6” swimming, No. of Attacks: 1, Damage/Attack: 1-3 blood drain, release their bite only with salt or fire

Top pic is clipped from the cover art for DA2- Temple of the Frog (1986). Art by Dennis Beauvais. There's just no finding art of a hairy killer frog online, but I always liked Beauvais' work on the Dragon Magazine covers.

The second pic is just funny, so I included it. I do stuff like that.

Honorable Mention! Dig it!

Here's the winners in the Fight On! Big Book Of Random Tables contest. I got a couple honorable mentions for two of the 100 item random tables I put up here on the Blog.
I had completely forgotten that I'd entered this, until I got an email from the gracious Ignatius Umlaught the day before yesterday.

All these tables will be compiled into a Fight On! book, and it looks like it will be a very entertaining and useful tool for DMs.


The Honorable Mentions.

Planet Exploration Table, Chris Willrich
Magnificent Lagan, Jeff Wilcox
Exotic Intoxicants, Patrick Wetmore
100 Character Backgrounds, Anthony Westenberg
20 Random Alchemical Accidents, Buzz Tilford
Wandering Harlot Table, Adam Thornton
Defective Scroll Effects and
Sewer Features and Hazards, Bill Staeven
Incidents and Events in Town, Joel Sparks
Random Bag of Holding Contents and
Gladiators, Ricardo Signes
Broodings of the Barbarian, Jason Sholtis
30 Close Combat Concentration Breakers, Matthew Schmeer
Battle Scars and Sequelae, Igor Vinicius Sartorato
How to Make a Random Table, Scott W. Roberts
50 Things That Might Be Found In A ‘Dungeon Town’ Curio Shop and
Vile Poisons and
50 Things Found In A Fantasy Villain’s Lair, Richard Rittenhouse
Who Is That Drunkard? and
What the Prostitute Knows, Jim Richmond
Random Bar Encounters, Lawson Reilly
Random Cause of Death, Mr. Reaper
Exploring the Crags, Marc Pavone
100 Random Starting Items for Beginning Characters and
100 Odd, Level-Inappropriate, and Random Treasure Items, Gene Palmer
30 Sprite Curses, Mike Monaco
20 Unexpected Customs and Laws and
20 Reasons for Stuck Doors, Gary McCammon
Random Pirates & Buccaneers, Dyson Logos
Traumatic Adolescent Background Generator, Samuel Kisko
Elves, Kesher
Random City Generator, Nicholas Kariya
Random Secret Door Clues, Adam Flynn
Monster Motivations, Conrad W. Deitrick
Multiversal Table: We Ended Up Where?, Michael David Jr.
The Crate in the Back of the Hold and
Customize Your Mutant and ,
Alchemist’s Ale, David Coleman
Magic Weapon Table, Courtney Campbell
Curious Curative Corollary, BIU_sKrEEm
Falls Down A Pit, Lee Barber
Slum Encounters and
Weird Things In Rooms, Al

Special Honorable Mentions

Rudingoz, Patrice Crespy
Swashbuckling Adventure Generator, Ralph Mazza
The Dungeon is Trying to Eat You! Best Of, Remix!, James A. Smith
What’s in that Hole?, Matthew Schmeer
Drink Me, Eat Me, Mr. Reaper


Elite Honorable Mentions

Ruins, Joe Wetzel
What’s Happened To Those Dead Bodies You Left In The Dungeon Yesterday?, Roger S. G. Sorolla
Character Generation, Alex Schroeder and Adrian Shieh
Magical Research Results, Gavin Norman
Dwarves, Kesher
Exotic Traps, Mr. Reaper

Third Prize

One Page Monster Manual, Paolo Greco

Second Prize

Quick Hex Contents Generator, Al

Grand Prize

Feast, Samuel Kisko


Just how many OSR inspired D&D fan magazines are there now?

I know of Fight On!, Knockspell, Oubliette, I know there are others. Who am I forgetting?

Fun with Leeches and Flies!

The common practice of leeching, whereby the spineless water parasites are affixed to those who are unwell with the intent that they should draw forth the bad blood or excessive humors which cause sickness, is in fact only ignorant superstition, and no help at all to those who have fallen ill.

The origin of this error lies in simple, unruned folk attempting to duplicate without sufficient understanding, the performance of Nahwalar’s Marvelous Thaumnivorous Leeches.

That most puissant Viviomancer and life-shaper, by dint of much effort and practice, achieved a spell whereby he might turn the natural actions of the leech to his own advantage and that of the sick he cared for.

This spell, when cast upon a suitable supply or number of ordinary leeches, alters them in such a way that they may be used to ameliorate some unhealthful conditions.
The degree of effect on the patient, and the conditions which may be treated, varies by the number of Thaumnivorous Leeches set to feeding upon him.

A single leech will suffice to draw forth any poison or venom by which the victim’s life is threatened. A victim of poison must receive the attentions of the leech within 4 rounds of the poisoning or envenomation in order to survive. Use of a single leech will cause the loss of one hit point in blood loss as the magically enhanced leeches draw mightily upon the vital fluids of the patient.
A leech which sucks poison will itself die afterwards.

Two leeches are sufficient to cure disease, either natural, or magically inflicted. This includes the infestation by fungal spoors and molds, but not other large parasites such as rot grubs. A pair of thaumnivorous leeches will inflict 4 points of damage upon the patient while removing all trace of disease from the body.

Three leeches must be used to clear the body of the effects of potions, dusts, or other ingested magics. The person so treated will incur 8 points of damage during the procedure.

A set of four leeches will end the effects of any sort of magical Curse, while also causing 16 points of damage to the leeched.

As with normal leeches, thaumnivorous leeches may be removed prior to satiation by the use of salt or fire.

Due to the Laws of Spontaneous Generation, it is wise to destroy by fire any leeches which have become engorged upon magic by their feeding. There is always a possibility that arcane mutation or alteration could bring about changes in a magic-sated thaumnivorous leech which may be infelicitous.

Also, there exists the possibility that a leech, employed upon multiple patients, may in some form transmit magical effects or disease which it had previously drawn from one patient to another.

The spell used to create the Marvelous Thaumnivorous Leeches is quite rare. It has been found to date only in the form of an enscrolled incantation. It prerequires a crystal vessel or decanter of fine workmanship with which to contain the leeches, sufficient solution of aqueous sortilagic fluid to fill the container, and at least four, and no more than eight leeches in good health, as well as a sprinkling of powdered gold and ivory dust.

The spell may of course be copied into a spell book rather than expended directly. All the standard costs and consequences of so doing apply.

Once created, the thaumnivorous leeches will survive within the crystal vessel handily until they are needed.

*Notes of warning, there have been reports that some scrolls containing the engenerative spell have either mistakes or deliberate malignancies written into them. Thaumnivorous Leeches created through the use of such a warped spell result in parasites which directly draw life energy from the patient in a manner similar to some undead. Victims of such leeches will lose one experience level and one hit die per leech attached to them, per round until death.




The Bloodfly Pin.

A large cloak or hat pin of bronze and ruby in the shape of a biting black fly, the Bloodfly Pin isn’t particularly attractive as a piece of jewelry, but it is effective as a magical deterrent.

Once per day, the wearer of the Bloodfly Pin may summon a cloud of vicious biting flies and direct them to swarm a given target. This target may be a single creature, or a designated space, such as a room.

If the target is a creature, the flies will inflict painful, maddening bites causing 1d4-1 pts of damage per round. If the target is a volume of space, then all living things within it will suffer 1 pt of damage per round they remain within it.

The fly swarm will remain for 1D6 rounds before dissipating.

The flies will fly into ears, nostrils and open mouths and make spell casting impossible. Horses and other touchy or high strung animals will bolt and run if attacked by the fly swarm.

The wearer of the pin will draw flies of the normal non biting sort at all times. Usually a half dozen or so will be found buzzing about the general area the pin wearer occupies.

The wearer will also develop a taste for overripe fruit.

If the wearer of the Bloodfly Pin should kill an insect for whatever reason, the next time he attempts to summon the fly swarm, the swarm will target him instead for the full duration of the summoning.

Insects will not attack the wearer of the pin unless attacked first. This includes giant types, but not intelligent insectoids. Intelligent insectoids such as Thri-Kreen, Aspis, etc… will generally feel non-hostile towards the wearer of the pin when first encountered. What happens afterwards is up to the pin bearer.
-------------------------------

It's deer fly season here, hot, humid, still, deer fly season. I hate the blasted things.

Google fetched for me the top pic from some wiki type site.
The second came from the Pictoral Arts blog. It's a sketch for a jewelry maker.

Greyhawk Wars meets Kelly's Heroes!

I Watched Kelly’s Heroes last week on the Military Channel, I always loved that movie. If you haven’t seen it, this is the Wikipedia entry for it.

In World War II France in early September 1944, units of the 35th Infantry Division are nearing the town of Nancy when one of the division's platoons receives orders to pull out while under attack from the Germans (much to the dismay of the men, who are eager to get into Nancy in order to find a decent place to get some rest).

Kelly, a former lieutenant who'd been demoted to private as a scapegoat for being given orders to attack the wrong hill and wiping out half a Company of GI's, captures Colonel Dankhopf of German Intelligence. When Kelly notices his prisoner has a gold bar in his briefcase, he gets him drunk to try to get information about the gold. Before he is killed by an attacking German Tiger tank, the drunken Dankhopf blurts out that there is a cache of 14,000 gold bars (worth $16 million) stored in a bank vault 30 miles behind enemy lines in the town of Clermont (most likely Clermont-en-Argonne).

Kelly recruits the rest of his platoon, including skeptical Master Sergeant "Big Joe", to sneak off and steal it. Eventually, others have to be recruited (or invite themselves) into the scheme, such as an opportunistic supply sergeant "Crapgame"; a proto-beatnik Sherman tank commander, "Oddball"; and a number of stereotypical G.I.s presented as competent, but war-weary veterans who are as much fed up with their incompetent or self-serving superiors as they are with the Germans.

The expedition successfully breaks through a German held town during a mortar barrage that has been arranged by Kelly. They then meet bad fortune when an American fighter plane mistakes Kelly's group for the enemy, shooting up their vehicles and destroying them with rockets. They continue on foot and one of them dies in a minefield. Two others of their number then die in a battle on the minefield.

Meanwhile Oddball's tanks head along a railway line wiping out a German depot along the way, but their route is blocked when the last large bridge to Clermont is blown up by Allied bombers, prompting Oddball to let a bridge engineering unit in on the deal. When intercepted radio messages of the private raid are brought to the attention of gung-ho American Major General Colt, he misinterprets them as the efforts of aggressive patriots pushing forward on their own initiative and immediately rushes to the front line to exploit the "breakthrough".

Kelly's men race to reach the French town before their own army. There, they find it defended by three formidable Tiger I tanks with infantry support. The Americans are able to dispatch two of the Tigers and most if not all of the supporting German infantry. However, as they prepare to take on the last tank, which is parked right in front of the bank, Oddball's last Sherman breaks down, and it is found that the Sherman cannot be repaired due to a lack of needed replacement parts.
Powerless to defeat the heavily-armored behemoth, Kelly, Oddball and Big Joe square up like western gunfighters and walk purposefully in line towards it, prompting the commander to emerge from the turret. He and his crew are then offered a share of the loot, the tank blows the bank doors off and they divide up the gold ($875,000 per share).

They then go their separate ways, just managing to avoid meeting the still-oblivious Colt, who is delayed when the celebrating town residents are told he is Charles de Gaulle. Oddball and his crew ride out of town in a Tiger tank and SS uniforms, having used part of their share of the gold to buy them from the Germans. Kelly and his misfit heroes head off into the sunset, presumably en route to Switzerland where they can sit out the war and rest on the joys of numbered accounts.

I made a note years ago about writing a D&D scenario that would put an adventuring party in a Kelly’s Heroes type situation during the Greyhawk Wars, but I never went any farther with it.

The thing with setting up a D&D game around the plot of a movie is that it’s very difficult to replicate events without turning the game into a railroad. I really do not care for those. Railroad games just suck all the tension out of play.

So, I like to set up situations that will likely replicate the general feel of the movie and the pace of its events, but don’t require the PCs perform a pre written pantomime of the movie in order to progress.

I was thinking for the Greyhawk’s Heroes scenario, I’d have the PCs be impressed into the armies of Furyondy at the beginning of the war. Wyrd Greyhawk’s PCs aren’t normally Heroic Fantasy material. They tend to be hardscrabble, average Joes getting by on guts and black humor. Getting press ganged into a conflict between great uncaring powers would be par for the course.

The PCs would be in the position of Kelly and his platoon, while I’d have NPCs for the Big Joe, Crapgame, and Oddball analogue characters.

Looking for a good encampment spot, the PCs encounter a spy/courier of Iuz. The spy has a bag of gold coins and information on just where, thirty miles beyond the battle front, a great horde of looted treasure has been hidden for later shipment to Dorraka.

Of course the PCs want it. Risk your life for a fortune, or risk it for ten silvers a month and disciplinary beatings once a week, plus the chance of encampment cholera and being hacked to death by orcs, which would you, choose?

The game would be an overland hexcrawl through war torn territory and no man’s land, towns held by the forces of Iuz, scarred lands, and wild countryside. The PCs would have to avoid combat wherever possible in order to draw the least amount of attention to themselves if they want to have any chance of reaching their goal.

One of the best parts of the movie was that, in order to solve problems as they went along, Kelly’s Heroes had to keep enlisting the help of more and more other people, who in turn drew the attention, and greed, of still more people. Eventually, the allied command gets drawn into it and the movie becomes a race to reach the gold and escape before the whole U.S. army follows them to Clermont.

To mimic this, I’d add the Notoriety rules from the Dorrakka, City of Skulls module TSR put out for the Greyhawk Wars. (I can’t find my copy at the moment, so I don’t have the module number).

The notoriety rules are a system whereby the PCs accumulate points for high profile actions. As these points accumulate, they draw the attention of various other actors in the module, resulting in them taking appropriate actions of their own. Such as investigating, pursuing, etc…

I’d do the same thing, with PCs actions gaining them notoriety points as they progress, and these points gaining them first the attention of low level Furyondian officers, and then higher and higher up the chain of command as the PCs incurred more points.

If the PCs are clever and circumspect, they might make it all the way to the horde without drawing too much attention. If not, the Furyondian army might make it there right alongside them.

Once Kelly’s Heroes made it to Clermont, they had to deal with a squadron of three Tiger tanks guarding the gold. They knocked out two with surprise and maneuver, and then made a deal with the Commander of the remaining Tiger for a share of the gold.

To have a chance of a similar situation playing out in the game, I’d have to have a suitable foe in the destination village that couldn’t be defeated directly at first, but might be amenable to parley if placed in the weaker position.

I haven’t decided what that foe should be. A trio of young dragons under the domination of Iuz? Impressed former Shieldlander knights? Heavy armored elite hobgoblins? Devils? I’ve got to muse on that a bit yet.



Big Joe would be a Serjeant of Furyondal heavy foot the PCs would have to convince to go along with the plan. No rolling for it, I’d make the players role play it out with “Beegjoh” .

Crapgame would be a Provisioner , charged with securing supplies for the Furyondians. He’d also have thieves’ guild connections and many friends in low places. I might just call him,”Crapper”.

Oddball would be Sir Ohe DeBal, a Furyondian knight of petty nobility with a small squadron of chivalric heavy horse. For Wyrd Greyhawk, a fully armed and armored knight is the best analogue for a tank. 1600 lbs of horse, man, and iron isn’t something any spear pusher wants to get in the way of.

I’d play each of these NPCs just as their actors did in the movie, Telly Savalas for Beegjoh, Don Rickles for Crapper, and Donald Sutherland for Sir Ohe De Bal. Imagine Sutherland in wine stained armor as a black lotus smoking beatnik knight of Fortune.

“Ceaseth thou with thyne negative emanations, Sirrah! If thou dost believe the bridge shall be there, then so it shall!”

This is all I’ve written about the idea. If I do ever pull it together and run it, I’ll let you know how it plays out. If you do it, let me know how it goes. Game on!

Dungeons & Dragons Super Edition!

So, let me throw this out there.

Instead of the death march to the land of diminishing returns that continuing down the path of perpetual new editions dooms Wizards of the Coast too, how about a multi-edition edition of Dungeons & Dragons?

The Game is built of multiple core components and elements that show up in all editions. Combat, Character Generation, Player Character Stats, Armor Class, Initiative, Surprise, etc… All the topics that we argue over and discuss on blogs and forums without end.

You could take these core elements as they are written in each edition and group them together to compare and contrast how each edition of The Game treats them.

Each edition is a product of the spirit of the times in which it was produced. Each one makes its own assumptions about what the game is meant to do, how to provide that outcome, and what players are looking for in the play experience.

Every edition made rule changes guided by these assumptions, and which edition you started with, and when, colors your view on what’s right and what’s wrong with the others.

Everybody knows I’m an AD&D guy, I don’t think there’s anything I can’t make it do with sufficient tinkering. But, I will readily admit to prying bits and pieces off of other editions, other RPGs, house rules gathered from blogs and forums, pretty much what ever catches my eye, and seeing if I like it in play. I think most of us, (the Old School blogosphere), do this without giving it a second thought.

You wouldn’t have to do every component of The Game, only the major ones which diverge significantly from previous editions. That would keep it from becoming the Encyclopedia of D&D. (though I would buy the Encyclopedia of D&D WOTC, if you're watching.)

You could present it by topic, say, Hit Points, and then the relevant sections from Original, AD&D, 2E, 3E, 3.5E, 4E, concerning what hit points are, how they are generated, how they are viewed in the game, and then a bit of considered commentary about why each edition makes changes, the different ways hit points are used to represent actual damage sustained, personal energy expended, near misses, luck, etc.

The hit points section could be followed by a bit about the various rules concerning when is dead really dead. Since there is always discussion about death at zero, death at -10 hps, deaths door rules, recovery from near death, I don’t want to go on the cart, yadda yadda.

The point of this book would be to create an Ala Carte Dungeons & Dragons which would allow DMs to pick and choose the elements from all editions that best suited their game and gaming sensibilities and build a personal edition. This is what we all really do anyway, at least, we of the Old School.

Of course, not all elements from all editions can be made to play nicely together. I don’t expect they could be made to do so by a Super Edition, still, having examples side by side of all the different ways that Combat, or Skills, or what have you have been treated in The Game would be horizon broadening for those unfamiliar with other ways of looking at things.

It’s my perception that newer generations of gamers are much less likely to have a do it yourself-make it your own attitude towards gaming. I think a book that actively encourages the idea of tinkering would go a long way towards changing this.
The majority of OSR bloggers and related forum posters are in their mid thirties and forties, I think I can safely assume, and they have been a fountainhead of creativity that I am overjoyed to drink from. However, I find it unsettling that the younger gamers seem to be the ones wearing blinkers about The Game and what it does. It’s supposed to be the kids who are wild and creative.

I can’t tell anyone to get off my lawn if they never jump fences. Dagnabit.